I need to know you're still alive
by SoaringSparrow1318
Summary: Spock has a nightmare and when he wakes up he isn't sure if he's still dreaming or if he is awake. One shot story hope you like it. Also I do not own Star Trek or the characters.


Spock walked towards the med ward as fast as he could. He had heard the words come from McCoy himself, but he did not want to believe it. He had to see for himself. It was only logical to see for himself.

When he finally made it there he could see his crew members crying. Scotty held onto Uhara as she sobbed hard into his chest. The older man could only stand there and whisper soft words of comfort, but even that did not seem to really be working for her. Spock felt bad, but continued his way to see Chekov sitting in a chair with his hands to his face crying. He was mumbling under his breath that sounded like 'No he can't be gone. He can't.' Sulu was by Chekov's side placing a hand on his shoulder to provide some form of comfort, but the youngest member continued his soft words of denial as he cried. Spock once again felt a pain rush through. It wasn't fair that the youngest of the crew, hell of Star Fleet, had to experience so much at his young age.

He then spotted McCoy standing by a table. He could hear the doctor crying as well as he leaned on the table with one hand and wiped away tears with the other. Spock stepped forward as Bones turned around to look at the Vulcan. Spock could see the doctor's eyes were red with irratation as he looked at Spock with eyes full of sorrow and sadness. "I'm sorry." he said as McCoy removed some of the blanket that was covering the body on the table to show Captian James T. Kirk lying there as if he were asleep. Spock looked at Jim as he swallowed a painful throb in his throat. 'This can not be happening.' he thought as McCoy spoke again. "I tried to save him by using Khan's blood, but I...I was...too late." Bones whispered that last part softly. Spock just stared when he felt tears full down his face. He himself could not believe it. "Please tell me this is a lie doctor." Spock said softly. McCoy shook his head. I'm sorry Spock, but it's not." he said not wanting to believe that his best friend was lying on the table. More tears fell from Spock's eyes as he turned to leave the room. McCoy watched Spock leave, but didn't go after him.

Spock left quickly to his quarters as he leaned against the door and slid down. He couldn't believe it. No he wouldn't be it. It wasn't true. Spock forced himself to push away the horrible feelings of regret and sorrow away, but it wasn't working. He began to cry again as he closed his eyes and covered his ears. He wasn't ready to say good bye. He wanted to scream and yell at the universe for taking away the one he cared for dearly, and that's when he realized he never got to tell him. He never got to tell his true feelings to his captian.

The pain began to grow worse as he thought about it that it became unbearable. He wanted it to end that he took out his phraser and set it on kill. He then press it to his heart and took the shot.

Spock woke up from his nightmare. Sweat formed on his face as he breathed hard. He looked around to see the room was still dark when he then heard a groan right next to him. He turned to see Jim looking up at him. His hair was a mess and his eyes were barely opened. "Spock are you alright?" Jim asked his voice was tirered, but also full of worry. "Yes I am find Jim." he said trying to keep his voice calm. "Alright, then can you let go of my wrist?" He asked. Spocked looked down to see he was holding Jim's wrist and quickly let go. "I am sorry Captian." he said as Jim wrapped his arms around Spock. "It's okay Spock, just tell what's wrong?" Jim said now wide awake. Spock sighed, but answered anyway. "I had a nightmare." he said calmly. "About...?" Jim asked holding Spock tighter. "About you." Jim looked at Spock in surprise. "What happened?" he asked. Spock swallowed before looking at Jim. "You were dead. McCoy sould not save you. The whole crew were in misery as was I. The pain was unbearable that I ended up killing myself in the end." he said softly. Jim didn't speak for a few seconds since he was unsure how to respond. "Spock you don't need to worry. I'm here. I'm safe. Bones saved me." he said. Spock wasn't reassured as he looked at his captain. "How can you be sure that this isn't a dream and that you are dead?" Spock questioned. Jim smiled grabbing Spock's hand and placed it on his own chest. "Because I still have a heart beat, because I'm still breathing." he said with a soft smile. "That does not mean this is still a dream and I am just imagining this captain." he said as Jim sighed. Alright Spock how about this. If you go to sleep and wake up and I'm still here then this isn't a dream. Okay?" Jim said as he kissed his T'hy'la on the cheek. Spock nodded and laid down to fall asleep.

The next morning Spock awaken to find his T'hy'la still asleep lying next to him. He smiled softly as he kissed him on the cheek and then got out of bed to start his shift.


End file.
